Conspiracy of the Gods!! Prometheus Tells All!! part one, Intro

 

 Conspiracy of the Gods!

 

RED HOT NEWS!  See it here, the exclusive Natural Inquirer  interview with Prometheus,  the Bringer of Fire.  The WakiLeaks whistle blower who is both criticized and worshipped, tells all to hot shot reporter, Cherry Belle, of the Natural Inquirer.

RED HOT NEWS!  Prometheus tells all!  Conspiracy of the Gods! 

EXCLUSIVE! HOT SHOT REPORTER, CHERRY BELL, INTERVIEWS PROMETHEUS!

 

I waited with pleasant anticipation in the fabulous Lizard Lounge of the Hotel California.  Looking around, I decided that the softly lit, art deco style lounge was my new favorite comfort zone. 

Prometheus, looking very hot indeed, in his young Sean Connery avatar incarnation, appeared in the lounge entryway.  Ah, yes, he IS a Greek God, I sighed, I almost swooned, as he sauntered through the door of the lounge.  Behind him was the sparkling hyperlight of the lobby. The bright back lighting silhouetted his wide shoulders and narrow hips, (OMG!).  He walked with a languid, powerful grace into the twilight of the lounge. 

I waved and he came and set opposite me in the booth. He was right on time for our appointment.

Our server, Swishy, struggled to maintain a professional demeanor, as he stared at Prometheus. He took our order and wiped the drool off of his chin with the back of his hand. I smiled in secret amusement at the server's loss of poise. I was feeling a bit shaky myself.  Of course it is stunning to see a real God, right there in front of your face.  We were both awestruck.

Swishy was cute and charming. He served our refreshments with a dramatic flourish and barely contained adoration.  I expected him to bow at any minute.  Prometheus had an Evian water, I had a Singapore Sling.  (Just shut up! I know what time it is.)

After the required few words of small talk, I cut right to the chase, "Tell me Prometheus, everyone wants to know, why did you leak that astounding information about The Conspiracy of the Gods?"

His voice was deep and melodious, it thrummed in my belly, "Well, Cherry Belle, I believe that the people should know about this huge conspiracy that effects every aspect of their lives.  Even though it happened over 100,000 years ago, the conspiracy has long ranging effects people.  The Gods endeavor to keep humanity unenlightened, you might say that they want people to be stupid.

You see, in Heavenly Olympus everything is perfect.  Perfectly boring. The Gods, Zeus, Hera and their friends need something entertaining for couch potato time.  After a hard days work creating planets and animals, naturally they want to veg out with a little mindless entertainment.  So they turn on the Omniscient Power and spy on humans.

Humans are constantly creating problems, issues, and drama.  If you were rational and disciplined then it would not be so much fun to spy on you.  Your madcap behavior entertains the Gods.  You are the TV of the Gods.  YOU are the ultimate reality show.

(Maybe you thought that you were having Truman Show delusions, but this is true.)

"Prometheus, what do you say to your critics?  They say that you are a traitor of the status quo.  You are a whistle blower, you gave all the secrets to WakiLeaks, some even say that you are a sacrilegious devil.  They say that you are a thief, that you stole from the Gods.  What do you say to them?"

"Thank you for asking, Cherry Belle, I am the liberator, I brought fire to earthlings, for this I was severely tortured. With fire, earthlings were able to crawl out of the mud and create civilization.  Fire gives people light, warmth and cooked foods.  Fire is a metaphor for intelligence.  It is true that humanity continues to be greatly flawed, but without the enlightenment of fire Earthlings would still be groveling in the dirt, literally and figuratively."

....to be continued....
To be continued, episodes will be published when I get them written.  I am working on pictures and writing the story.  Please follow the story and be patient.

Impertinent Asides

In Greek mythology the immortal Prometheus defied the gods and gave fire to humanity.  He was tortured with cruel and unusual punishment for this theft.  Almighty, King of the Gods, Zeus (played by Brad Pitt) had Prometheus chained to a rock in the Caucasus mountains.  Each day an eagle was sent to feed on his liver.  Each night his liver grew back to be eaten again the next day. 

Fire symbolizes en-LIGHT-enment, intelligence. With fire humanity progressed and created civilizations.  We crawled out of the mud and created cities, cars, computers, Square Pants Sponge Bob, and cat memes. 

In other words, according to the ancient Greek myth there was a conspiracy of the gods to keep humans ignorant!  Prometheus wanted to empower people but the gods, with Zeus as leader, tried to prevent our rise. 

I knew it!  I knew there was some weird deep shit happening that makes people so irrational and counterproductive.  We can blame it on the gods. A conspiracy of the gods.

It is convenient to have someone or something to blame for the chaos of life. We certainly do not want to take personal responsibility for the exciting and interesting mess where we find ourselves.

 

Conspiracy theories proliferate and breed like frogs.  Mysteries surround the Kennedy assassination, the death of Marilyn Monroe, and even New York 9/11. "The government" has covered up the truth, at least that is what many people think.  Me, I am maintaining an open mind.  I am entertaining all options, you know, I am confused.

Scholars note that conspiracy theories, once limited to the lunatic fringe have become commonplace in mass media.  Conspiracism has emerged as a cultural phenomenon.  (Wikipedia)

As we humans search for meaning in this time when the economy is a roller coaster, when "the news" is a celebrity flaunting her bikini body. In this time when we have sent people, people in the flower of youth, to war for what ten, twelve, forever years now, but really do not see much about the war on "the news".  Where are the pictures of the coffins?  At a time when even "the news" is subject of conspiracy theories, we search for meaning and understanding.

Wikipedia info:

Conspiracy theories:

As a predominating cultural phenomenon replacing democracy as the dominant political paradigm[edit source | editbeta]

Some scholars argue that conspiracy theories once limited to fringe audiences have become commonplace in mass media, contributing to conspiracism emerging as a cultural phenomenon in the United States of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, and the possible replacement of democracy by conspiracy as the dominant paradigm of political action in the public mind.^{[8][10][11][12]} According to anthropologists Todd Sanders and Harry G. West, evidence suggests that a broad cross-section of Americans today gives credence to at least some conspiracy theories.^[1

Prometheus:

In Greek mythology, Prometheus (Greek: Προμηθεύς, pronounced [promɛːtʰeús]) is a Titan, culture hero, and trickster figure who is credited with the creation of man from clay, and who defies the gods and gives fire to humanity (theft of fire), an act that enabled progress and civilization. He is known for his intelligence and as a champion of mankind.^[1

The punishment of Prometheus as a consequence of the theft is a major theme of his mythology, and is a popular subject of both ancient and modern art. Zeus, king of the Olympian gods, sentenced the Titan to eternal torment for his transgression. The immortal Prometheus was bound to a rock, where each day an eagle, the emblem of Zeus, was sent to feed on his liver, which would then grow back to be eaten again the next day

How Have I Offended Thee? Let me count the ways?

Poppies

Inkjet print, 2011

 

 

 



 

Three Eyes

Inkjet print, 2011

 

 

How have I Offended Thee?

Let Me Count the Ways

 

OMG!  My art is offensive!  OMG!  Offensive, tacky, scary and embarrassing.  Incomprehensive, seemingly pointless.  It goes beyond the boundaries of good taste.  People are frightened.  My family is embarrassed. They are afraid that their friends will find out about me.  I have heard thinly veiled suggestions regarding medication.  There are some twists in my artistic path that are shocking.  Frightening!  It seems that I have not only offended the Christians;  New Agers and atheist also beg to differ. Dog lovers, dog haters and compulsive shoppers are avoiding me.

 Everyone else is just laughing.  Laughing at me or with me?

I am so sorry.  I apologize if I have offended you.  No offense was intended.  May I offer an explanation?  I have art brain.  This is a poorly documented anomaly of human neuroanatomy.  It is a disease, recognized by very few doctors.  Symptoms include lack of boundaries and an ineffective inner brain editor which leads to inappropriate behavior.  Please pardon me, the devil made me do it.

Actually, my Muse made me do it.  If I don't follow her she pouts and goes away.  She requires free range.  Without her, I get artist block.  Without her, yes, I could paint and write, but it would be boring.
 

Oh, Yea!  Take a look.  Beware, art may scramble your brain.  And you may not like that, because it makes you think.  It is a challenge.  It may shock you out of the doldrums. Shake up complacency.



************************************************************************************
 

 Office of Reason and Good Sense
333 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC

                                                                                                                                        

Dear Janet, 

There are some things that we need to discuss.  I am trying to help you to be successful, I am taking my valuable time to speak to you for your own good. 
 

First of all, a little alliteration is nice, but too much repetition is just annoying.  Hyperbole has its place, but please, do tone the exaggeration down.  And irony?  Irony is tricky,  some people don't get it when you write the opposite of you intend to communicate.   So, please refrain from irony.  Are you actually aiming to convince people that you are crazy? Or, is that just an accidental effect?

 

Throw "cute" in the trash.  How do you expect people to take you seriously when your so called "work" is just too cute?

 

Most Important!  For Gods sake, stay away from religion and spirituality.  No one really cares and you don't know what you are talking about. 
 

 Don't you remember?  Two gallery curators, the people that can help you exhibit your work, have rejected your pictures because of the twisted religious aspects.  Are you listening?   If you want to be recognized as an artist, then you need to have broad appeal.  They told you, two influential taste makers told you,  "We like the pop art, but not the religious pictures."

You are doing it all wrong!

 

Stick to light and fluffy.  You can make "nice pictures",  people want to be reassured.

You must be consistent, find a pretty style and stick to it. No one knows what to expect from you.  Changing styles every few years doesn't work.

 

I know, you are confused.  Is that your tag line now?  Listen up.   Being confused is not a good way to brand yourself.   Don't embarrass your self.

 

I don't want to tell you these things again.  You are bright.  Listen up.  The annual evaluation is coming up.  So study the guidelines, and follow the rules.

 

Sincerely yours,

The Voice of Reason

 

 

 ***********************************************************************************
 

Lets Paint

Conspiracy of the Gods

 

I am working on a picture and story of Prometheus, Bringer of Fire. Prometheus is an ancient Greek Celebrity.   The working title is,  Conspiracy of the Gods, "Prometheus Tells All". 

 

Red Hot News!  See the exclusive Natural Inquirer interview with Prometheus,  The Bringer of Light.  The WakiLeaks whistle blower will explain the devious behavior of the Gods.  He exposes the ancient conspiracy to keep fire from humankind.
 

 

         

How Have I Offended Thee

part two

 

 

That writing that I did, the "Lets Gossip Barbie", was over the top.  It offended Christians, New Agers, and the complacent majority with it's subversive insinuations.  There was a lot of silly sex.  But I think that the most material that caused the most offense, had to do with compulsive shopping, which, along with dissing dogs, maybe a TABOO subject. 
  

ART is a vast planet, with rivers and mountains and forests, there are mysterious, unexplored regions.

 

I invite you to journey with me off of the map.  I want to help you open your mind, help you be the driver of your own life.  I want to scramble your preconceived notions.  Question the architecture of your belief system.  Don't forget to pack your sense of humor.

My work uses surrealistic art references to access the unconscious.  The unconscious parts of our brain have a huge influence on our behavior.  Perhaps, by making the irrational visible, we may come to know ourselves better.  If your brain is scrambled, maybe you will put it back together, maybe, you will reevaluate your thought processes, and be better than ever.  

Oh, yea!  I hope that it upsets your programing.  Believe it or not, you have been programmed.  All that stuff that school taught you?  Much of it is just crap, wrong.  Did you go to church?  You are really programmed.

 You have watched a hundred jillion advertisements, all intended to make you feel inadequate, an inadequacy that only expensive products can allegedly soothe.  All intending to program you into being a good little consumer. 

You have been molded into a cog for the consumer culture, a huge machine that makes stockholders rich.  And, puts you in debt so that you are slaved to a shit job.  Think about it, darling.

(I do recognize some boundaries, for instance I will not urinate on religious icons, like the most successful living artist of the day did. Damien Hirst used shock tactics to jump start his career.  I may be irreverent, but I do not want to be seriously inconsiderate to the people who have found some comfort in religion.)

12/9/13  
I was reading over this blog today and recognized a mistake.  Damien Hirst did not make the "Piss Jesus" art work, Andres Serrano made it in 1987.  Damien Hirst floated a dissected baby calf and a zebra in formaldehyde.  The similar offenses here are the source of my mistake.
 

 

In these words and pictures, that I post online, I most sincerely hope to communicate from my consciousness to your consciousness. Bypass the rational and communicate directly brain to brain. I color out of the lines of social constrictions to irreverently and subversively, challenge you to think for yourself.

 

OK, well, that is an overly ambitious goal.  Maybe, this is just a bunch of bull shit that I have made up to entertain myself. Whatever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Gidget, Gadget and Gizmo

 

Gidget, Gadget and Gizmo

digital painting, print, 8/2013

 

 

 

Gidget, Gadget and Gizmo, these words kept chanting in my mind, replacing the CEO approved mantra that I intended to chant.  So, I made a picture of this silly trio.

 

POP Religion

The POP Religion show that was scheduled for 9/14/13, has been postponed.  We are working on a new date and venue.  I am disappointed to postpone the show, but good things are in the works.

 

Gulf Shores, Alabama

Last week we had a wonderful family beach vacation at Gulf Shores.  Much of the peninsula is protected park reserve, so we saw a lot of wild life.

 

Here is the wildlife sighting list:

 

Eagle! Perched high in a pine tree, then it flew away on mighty wings.

pelicans, blue herons, comic sand pipers, humming birds, gulls

dolphins

shark

one sting ray and two manta rays with six foot span

jelly fish

etc. , so forth and so on

rich nature

 

 

 

I have been so lucky to vacation at Gulf Shores since I was a kid and my uncle had a cabin there. 

 

Returning there at intervals has been a high light of my life.  I still play in the surf. 

 

 

A memory cherished.  I, the child, immersed in the boundless water, rocked by the surf.  Joy, nerve tingling joy, leaping in the ocean,  playing with my sisters and cousins. Sun so bright, bathed in light.  Enlightenment.

 

Also, I distinctly remember, the seventh and most powerful waves.  I, the child me, tumbled tail over head, in the turbulence.  Legs scraped by the sand.  Beach pizza legs.

 

Sleeping, big family snoring, windows open, in the surf song night.  The child tossing, sleep disturbed by sunburn lacerated with sand.  Misery.

 

Next morning, return to the rocking waters, joy, ecstasy, outweighing misery.

 

 

 

This last week they, the family, told me not to swim in the Gulf.  "Beware of sharks, stingrays and jellyfish!"  Sandy sunburn did not stop me then, these sea dwelling creatures will not keep me away now.

 

My mature adult sensitivities are different than childish nirvana.  But, floating and swimming in the waves,  I get a small taste, a faded reminder, of how it felt to be young and holistically immersed in a peak experience. 

 

 

The last day Dave and I walked the western tip of the Gulf Shores peninsula. Where the Mobile Bay and the Gulf meet. Waters there form a rich ecological zone, where currents collide and churn the water.  We dodged blobs of stranded jelly fish on the shore. 

 

That west tip must be the best shore fishing spot around, because fisher people were there with colorful day camp carts, coolers, striped umbrellas, cell phones, lines and bait.  We chatted with the fishers,  "You catch anything?" they were delighted to show the creatures that they caught.  A twenty five pound black drum;  a shark, small, about a three footer;  and a stingray, beached by a line, the fisher extracting the hook from it's strange mouth with plyers. 

 

Hmmm, all those nasty creatures are there at the western point.  In a short walk we saw all the biting, stinging life that THEY warned me about.  I will not swim there, but a bit east on the Gulf where it should be OK??

 

 

 

 



Elizabarbie and her Dragon

 

 

How to read the short story, "Let's Gossip Barbie"

 

To read the short story in order, you must scroll back to "Let's Gossip Barbie, 1", and scroll forward for each installment.  If I were more tech savvy, maybe I could make a more convenient arrangement.  Oh well, sorry.

 

Have a wonderful weekend, Janet



Let's Gossip Barbie, 4

 

Elizabarbie

 

 

Let's Gossip Barbie, 4

A short story in four parts

 

 

 

There she is, sheee's back.  Look, Piffle Hilton, what did I tell you?  She is loaded, I mean her three bearers are loaded, with stacks and stacks of sacks from Sax's and boxes from Fetishes R Us.  What an addicted shopaholic.  She has not one iota of restraint, so vulgar. 

 

Barbie, dahlin, I am so flitter flattered that you made it back.  Kissy, kissy. Don't you look fantabuloso?  What wretched excess treasures did you score today? 

 

 How is Ken? (snicker, snicker).  Dahlin, I saw him last night on The Nine Inch Dolls Real Reality Show.  He was not looking so good.  Did he survive?  What happened?  One minute he was himself, handsome and studly, then, in the next shot, he was blowing barf bubbles.  OMG, he got food poisoning from the gold plated carrots?  You don't say (hee-hee).  Did any of the other doll stars get sick?  They all looked OK except for the occasional laser saber wounds.  And, poor Lucy and Desi are still in the hospital. Elvis and Marilyn were stuck together, like dogs, but Lincoln hosed them down, so that it came out OK.

 

 Have you seen GI Joe lately?  No?  But, he was at the party of the century last night.  I saw him on my 555 inch HD, the EavesDropKam caught him with sizzling eyes, you were right there, I know that you saw him.  Oh, now you remember, you did greet each other briefly?  (wink, wink).  Don't worry, I can keep your secret.

 

Sorry, you must leave so quickly.  Don't you want some coffee?  Did I say something wrong?  Oh, I understand, your bearers are tired.  You must take your loot to your closet before it goes out of style.  Sure, see you soon.  Lets do lunch.  Kissy, kissy.

  

I got a text on my phone. Suddenly, my day was brighter.  Hee-hee, a GI Joe booty call! Whooopeee.

 

 Puffball Hilton, sorry, dahlin, so, I gotta go now. It's time for my mani-pedi.  See you soon.  Lets do lunch. Kissy, kissy.

 

 

 

 the end

 

To read the story from the beginning go to "Archive", then "July", then  "Lets Gossip Barbie, 1".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets Gossip Barbie, 3

Caffeinated Barbie

 

 

 

Prozac Barbie

 

 

Let's Gossip Barbie, 3

A short story in four parts 

 

Now listen Partie Hartie, never mind, I can see that you are tweeting about your fabulous life. Whatever.

 

Pussy, when I saw Ken blowing bubbles in his barf, I was soooo grossed out.  He is soo disgusting, to think I used to think he was hotsy. 

 

Camera man #3 turned and focused on the city block sized bed with a canopy made from the foreskins of whales.  He captured Elvis and Marilyn banging like baboons, but the screen swiftly switched to the Kitchen Kam. 

 

Loopy and Desi were standing on a pile of rubble with their hands on each others throats.  Did you know that dolls turn blue when they are strangled?

 

On the Immaculate Konception Kam the anniversary guest were undulating in a daisy chain.  OMG it was the grossest thing that I have ever seen.  I hate orgies, bodily fluids are slimy.  

 

The screen was twitching from one cam to another,  there were so many exciting things going on, the editor didn't know where to focus.  No one could write this shit.  It has to be real!

 

But the most interesting sight, listen up Pissy Hellion, EavesDropKam focused on Barb and Joe looking at each other with sizzling eyes.  The camera actually caught beams of electricity shooting between the two.  Then, wait til' you hear this! 

 

Barbie mumbled, "It is time for my mani-pedi", and slipped out the back door.

  

GI Joe mumbled, "It is time for my shooting practice", and slipped out the back door.

 

WHAT do you think about that,  Paris the Heiress?  Princess Hasbeen? I saw it with my own eyes.  They are doing it like dingbats.  It was right there on the screen anyone could see them sneaking out, making a stealthy amorous exit, with poor Ken dead to the world upstairs, dreaming of the third level of hell/heaven, one, the other, or a mash up of both in raging psychedelic technicolor . 

 

Anyone could see it. Barbie and Ken!  All the mainstream newcasters have ignored this story.  Mattel has bribed every news person between here and Mars.  Only the Natural Inquirer has been righteous enough to cover this tale of two nine inch dolls.  The Inquirer even ran a picture of them sexting.  You should see this,  look at my phone, here he is, GI Joe in his turbid toreador outfit with a tassel dangling from his tallywacker.

 

to be continued.....To continue reading the story, click "Newer Post" at the bottom of this entry.

 

 

 

 





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Barbie Flaunts her Bikini Body!!!

 

Barbie Flaunts her Bikini Body!!!

Hot breaking news!

 

 

 

For immediate release:

 

Barbie, in a hyperbolic paparazzi event, flaunted her bikini body, this morning on Bodacious Bitch Beach.  In that breathy Marilyn voice, which she parrots perfectly, she said, "I want to thank all the little people".  Her joints are especially sexy.

 

Her team orchestrated this exciting publicity event to promote The Nine Inch Dolls Real Reality Show.  Barbie, "The Bauble", is the most mega of the show's stars.  When questioned about the authenticity of the show she said, "I know that some people think that the show is a hoax,  but what we show really is real, as real as reel can be.  We wouldn't call it reality is there was a script.   I really am a dumb blonde. Really. Duh!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's Gossip Barbie, 2

 

Barbie, Cat Eyed

 

Let's Gossip Barbie, 2

 

 

Paris Harlot, are you listening?  If you would stop tweeting for just a few minutes I will tell you about last night's episode of the Nine Inch Dolls Real Reality Show.  It opened just like the end of the previous episode. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez hosted a star studded forty forth year of their divorce celebration. 

Oh, you ARE listening?  I didn't know that you could multitask, tweet and listen at the same time.  I thought that you could not even walk and chew gum at the same time. (Paris Helvetica  is looking a little better, her eyes are clearing up, I think that the tequila is helping her monstrous hangover.  Where are her style team?  She needs help before the paparazzi find her.)

Sitting at the Holyhell Starbucks, Paris Pissy and I scanned the area for celebrities.  OMG I eat, sleep, and drink celebrities, 24/7.  Where would we be without these celestial deities brightening our dull lives with their colorful divorces and their flaunted bikini bodies.  I am so excited to be sitting with Princess Hellion that I am wetting my pants. Thank goodness I wore my Dior diaper, advertised by no less than The Fonz.  You do remember Henry Winkler, don't you dahlin'?

The first shot of the real true reality show that beamed to my 555 inch HD screen, was set in the immaculate conception room of Lucy and Dizzy's 333 room humble abode.  Cameras #1, 2 and 3, recorded the guests grazing on organic palm hearts and gold plated carrots. 

From the kitchen cam feed, I saw Lucy and Desi  throwing dishes at each other and screeching like zombies.  It was amazing, her frothy strawberry updoo stayed perfectly in place as she wound up to hurl a Wedgwood turkey platter.

No, Poufy, it IS a REALITY show.  There are no writers.  Lucy really is dizzy and Desi really is loose, they are not acting.  Do you think that they would call it reality if there was a script?  Duh.

To help the guest in the party room ignore the ruckus from the angry Arnezes, The Rolling Stones turned up the volume. Mick Jagger strutted like a monkey on Mountain Dew. 

Dahlinn absolutely all the most celebrated, inebriated, torticulated dolls attended.  Barbie's gorgeous gown of pink Uranus worm silk was so short that it was just a belt.  Ken was just the perfect escort, lovely eye candy.  GI Joe dressed out in fatigues, but sported a samurai sword as a bow to the formality of the occasion.  Hovering around the bar Dirty Harry squinted at Tweedledee and Tweedledum.  Abraham Lincoln pontificated with Bill Clinton while Monica Lewenski batted her lashes at honest Abe.  Absolutely every doll who is any doll was preening and posturing at that party.  I spotted Yoda (he is adorable, do you think that he is too old to have sex?).  Over by the champagne fountain Mama Dearest, the Talking Car danced dirty with the double ought seven Daniel Craig.  

Pitty Patty Halibutt, listen up, I am getting to the good part.  The kitchen cam zoomed in on Lucy and Dazy throwing butcher knives, both were bleeding, I guess that it was reality blood. 

 




On the stage Keith Richards, looking as usual like chic death warmed over, threw an original Keith Haring canvas at Mick.  OMG, Mick turned into a red devil, and OMG flames engulfed the stage.  No shit, his eyes turned Tabasco red and those 'I can eat the world lips' turned summer saults. You know, (I whisper,) he is a shockaholic. That devil frightened me so much that I laughed.  But, Prissy Hellion, the most interesting activity happened in the shadows, behind the bar, where the EavesDropKam was focused.  I zoomed in and enhanced the contrast of the screen. 

Picture this,  Bauble and Kane were sitting on the red velvet love seat.  There was such a free for all, what with the guest heaving furniture at each other, and the sound of bombs bursting in the kitchen, that they thought no one was watching them.  They did not see the EavesDropKam survey them with x ray vision from behind the flaming stage.  I have eyes like Sherlock Holmes (who could not attend because he is trying to solve  the Wikiwhistle narcolepsy case).  In the shadows I saw Barbie serve Ken a tall Kahlua and a yummy kannabis brownie.

The screen shifted back to kitchen cam where Lucy wrenched the sink off the wall (she is stronger than she looks) and threw it at Daisy, who countered with the Chiefs Food Fantasia Oven.  If they were flesh and not plastic they would be dead.  Nine inch dolls are immortal.

On stage Keith Richards unsheathed his laser sword and twirled that scathing scimitar 180x3 degrees. Jagger Devil was a flaming hell dragon and strutted like a Clydesdale at a Mardi Gras parade.  The stage was alight with a combustion that did not consume.

By the sofa, Mae West performed falafel on Superman.

Angelina and Brad bellyed up to the bar and toasted New Orleans.

Mila Kunis demonstrated her talents with a banana.

Audrey Hepburn swan necked under the most flattering lamp light.  She, and she alone was elegantly composed.  Like the eye of Katrina.

In the shadows, Bauble gave Ken three red secobarbietols, which he swallowed quickly, having been warmed up with chocolate psychoactives. In less than three split seconds he stumbled up the stairs followed by camera man #33.  He lurched into the first bedroom where Elvis and Marilyn were humping like humdingers.  Then he passed out on the carpet in a puddle of puke.


To be continued.....
To see more of the story click "Newer Post", at the bottom of this entry.

Lets Gossip Barbie, 1

 

Barbie, TV Head 



Let's Gossip Barbie, 1

  

"Lets gossip about Barbie, now that she has gone shopping.  We are sitting on the Starbucks patio on Holyhell Boulevard.  It is a beautiful morning, I mean afternoon, exhaust fumes from the constipated Boulevard traffic are wafting in the breeze. Across the table from me sits THE Paris Harlot.  The most famous for being famous person in the entire celebrity sphere.

We sip Celestial Green Tea laced with tequila, and nibble on no calorie, no fat, no gluten, no additives, preservatives or artificial color croissants.
 

"Do you know, Pussy Paris, that Barbie has been shopping everyday for the past fifty six years.  Her closet is the size of a warehouse.  Have you seen it?  It is a giant pink sequin building that dwarfs her purple rhinestone ranch house.  She has three miles of automated revolving clothing racks snaking through the building.  She has a shoe room of towering glass display cases housing a hundred thousand plastic fetishes.

 

What do you think about that, Princess Hilton?  You admire her!  But she has a closet large enough to house a Afghani refugee camp comfortably. No, don't tell me, you want an even bigger closet?  One as big as the Superdome?  Well, we all have a right to our own opinions even when they indicate hydrocephalic greed that will eat us alive.  Did you hear me?  What are you tweeting?  I just don't go for that conceited conspicuous consumption crap.  Well, I think that conspicuous consumption is soooo tacky, but sometimes I slip myself up.  We are only human. 

 

And tell me, Partie Hartie, what is with Barbie's feet?  Those useless appendages as deformed as the lotus flower feet of abused Chinese girls?  Malformed feet for masochistic shoes.  What is that about, Paris Piranha?  Can you explain it to me?

 

Oh, now I get it, teeter totter tumble toes makes Mr. Happy stand up and cheer.  How strange!  You mean to tell me that men are turned on by women who are as unstable as toddlers? How weird!

 Human organisms never cease to boggle the brain.  Here we are, beings of complicated and elegant neurochemical processes,  millions of muscle, blood, and nerve cells working together in harmony, sending zillions of data bits to the brain, for what?  An amazing chorus of chemical interactions, electrical ion exchanges and etherical energies coordinating muscles and intentions, all for what?  All this intricate pituitary, thyroid, adrenal, not to mention gonadal hormones in a hemodynamic dance of science and mystery, all culminating in what?  Zillions of data bits flooding the brain in a constant stream, interfacing with the mind.  The mind, the irrational, unpredictable, self seeking mind.  We have a brain! The most elegant computer in the world! A brain/mind.  The mind that thinks it is the CEO of the metaorganism but screws things up right and left.  Producing behavior that has no rational or pragmatic basis. Minds that have created masterpieces,  the Mona Lisa, the Sidney Opera House, and Drago's grilled oysters, but minds will also make a man salivate over a woman toddling clumsily in dangerous and painful footwear?  We think that we are rational, sensible beings, but, our hardwiring commits us to stupidity.  Emotions almost always trump intelligence. It boggles the brain.  But, who knows, maybe it is better this way.  You know, I am confused. Oh, and inappropriate, did I mention inappropriate?  And so the earth spins round.

Are you listening Princess Harlot?  Oh, you are tweeting your worshipful fans?  What is trending?  So Mr. Happy salutes masochistic stilettos.  The neurons are flabbergasted on so many levels. By the way, where did you get those marvelous Louboutin Sky Heels?  Do they come in turquoise?  I must have a pair. 

Sorry, Prissy, I know my rant is boring.  Thank goodness you brought your IPod.  Seen any good tweets lately?  What is trending?

Did you catch the Nine Inch Dolls Reality Show last night?  No? You saw it last week, right.  Lucy and Desi were celebrating their seventy seventh wedding anniversary.  All the glitterati nine inch dolls were there, and the Stones were playing.  Yes, you saw it, yes, it was sooo exciting.  But last night you passed out too early and missed it?  Not to worry, I will tell you all about it.  You will not believe what Barbie is up to now. 

To be continued. A jabberwacky short story in four parts. To get to the next part of the story, click "Newer Post", at the bottom of this entry.
 

 

   

Wikipedia, Interesting Info Bits

This is what Wikipedia says about Japanese bound feet:

 

The practice possibly originated among upper class court dancers in the early T'ang dynasty in Imperial China (11th or 10th century), but spread and eventually became common among all but the lowest of classes. Eventually foot binding became very popular because men thought it to be highly attractive. Foot binding became Chinese women's way of being beautiful, and a way to show that they were worthy of a husband. The foot binding process begins with a young girl (4-7 years old)  Next, every toe would be broken except for the big toe.
 

Another interesting titbit, Shakespeare quote 

Last night I was watching "Hamlet"  and noticed that  this soliloquy was similar to my confused rant.
Of course, he said it not only first, but also, better.

What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties!
In form and moving, how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world!
The paragon of animals!
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet


Bye now, be safe, be happy and avoid the clap.

Best Friend Channel Update

Best Friend Channel

Be a best friend to your best friend, turn on the Best Friend Channel

 

 

To the Investors and Supporters of the Best Friend Channel

 Someone has stolen my idea!  I saw an ad on TV for another doggie channel.  I thought of this first!  Do you think that we can sue the idea thieves?  Well, nevermind, why bother?  because the programming for the Best Friend Channel will shit bomb the programming of our competition.  We have award winning beauty and fashion specials, exercise, meditation and educational programming all this just for fido.  Top that you dirty dogs. 

 

 

Be an Angel, Invest Today!

 

There are still a few spots open for investors on all levels. 

 

 

Silver Angel Investor positions cost $10,000. Silver Angels will receive a framed and signed portrait of the Stratosphere Star, Princess Fou Fou.

 

Gold Angel Investor positions are $100,000.  Gold Angels are entitled to a dinner date with Princess Fou Fou at The Commander's Palace ten star restaurant in New Orleans.

 

Platinum Angel Investor Positions are for those exalted angels who invest One cool million dollars. Platinum Angels will be entitled to receive Princess Fou Fou's first born puppy. 

 

 

Be an Angel today!!! Investor Positions are going fast.  Get yours now.  Just send a check to my address or call me for info on direct deposit.

 

 

 

 

Hollywood Kiss

HOLLYWOOD KISS

 

The composition is like a see-saw.  Stable/unstable.  A dynamic pyramid. Yin/yang.

 

The weather is lovely.  Beautiful here at Silver Creek.  Temperature perfect.  The privet trees are blooming like snow on the large, scraggly hedge.  Allergies and bugs abound.  Carpenter bees chew up the house and dive bomb humans.  Mosquitos prick skin with ting sensations.  Just the price of living in paradise.  Gotta go now.  The riding mower is fixed, will mow.  The jungle is advancing.  I will battle the jungle forces with the mower.  Don't battle the jungle, work in harmony??

 

 

Like,  I have a libertine past.  I am not sure that it was worth all the effort.  Oh, what am I saying, of course it was worth the effort.

Audrey Hepburn, Bugeyed

 

Audrey Hepburn, Bug-eyed, Bobble Headed Buffoon

 with Princess Fou Fou

 

Without doubt, the all time, most elegant woman who ever lived is Audrey Hepburn. Because of her position on top of the admiration pyramid, I could not resist messing with her face.  Because of her sacred position in the Follywood pantheon, I could not resist making fun with her legendary image.

 

 The work started with a portrait of Audrey, which I had created, maybe a year ago? A beautiful, digital gamin face.  I thought,"What else can I do with this?"  I put it in the liquefy function of Photoshop and enlarged the eyes. BUG-eyed.  Delighted, I thought, "Wow! This is a fresh salad." 

 

"What next?" I snickered?  Browsing my picture documents, a fun thought tickled my brain.  Enough, already.  Audrey has been gracefully bedecked in couture for long enough.  Now, let her be a buffoon.  While giggling, I sewed her head to a clown body.  "Bobble headed!" I exclaimed, and made it happen, I blew up her head.

 

 

 I went with the circus clown theme, using element files from my documents.  This is one of the coolest things about Photoshop, I have painted a collection of characters, elements, environments, backgrounds, and special effects, all stored in my documents, all waiting in the sidelines until they can star in another picture.     

 

The outrageously clashing Princess Fou Fou, is patterned after, who else, the real Princess Fou Fou, who keeps me quiet, sweet company at this moment, laying on the deer skin rug that Mr. T made.  Her Majisty barks at thunder.  Awfully raucous, what with all the thunderstorms that pass through.  This adorable ball of fuzz will chase a storm.  She charges lightening with her most ferocious threats.  I say,  "Fou Fou, that is God that you are challenging.  Are you crazy?"  She doesn't listen to me. Also, I told her to go to the spa and get the tangles worked out of her hair, but, she still didn't listen. 

 

The floor of the circus is adapted from another world famous icon,  the rose window of Notre Dame in Paris.  I hope that Fou Fou does not poop on this sacred mandala. 

 

This is how I amuse myself.  It came together, and made me smile, this lightly sacrilegious tossed salad. 

 

Kitten Cherub and Rosie are performing their flying act.  Amusing.  Light and fluffy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phoenix Dance

Phoenix Dance

 

 

Phoenix Dance

 The Persistence of Symbols of Rebirth 

 

 

 Phoenix is the comeback kid of mythology.  Phoenix is the rebirth and resurrection bird of persistent worship.  She lives a thousand years, for a thousand years she soars and sails, she surfs, on streams of cool clear air.  After an eon of living, her clock runs down, and then she fulfills her destiny to crash and burn.  From the purification of fire, from the ashes of her own autocremation the Phoenix is reborn to soar another thousand years. 

 

Lets face it y'all, life is hard.  Sometimes it seems that all is lost. Failure and exhaustion, are universally a part of human existence. It is a wheel, a roller coaster, an enlightening adventure. Success and joy, failure and defeat.

 

The wheel of Fortuna turns round and round.  We go up and we go down. We all know, there will be change, sunshine; before a driving rain. Light and dark, day and night, Our spirit, engaged will take a flight.

 

When we crash and burn,  we NEED to see the phoenix at the end of the tunnel. Hope keeps us going.  Hope is the sperm of rebirth.  DNA is in the egg and the egg is in the DNA. 

 

At the bottom swing on the wheel of Fortuna cycle, we may be crushed or we may tap into rebirth.  Mind, body and spirit are resurrected with the will to soar.  The ashes of defeat contain the diamonds of a comeback. 

 

 Phoenix analogies, regeneration myths are found in all cultures, world wide.  Universally cosmologies offer a resurrection from the ashes of failure story.  Russians, Native Americans, Turks, Pacific Islanders, Tibetans and Japanese offer regeneration mythologies.  The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus also mines the human need for reinvention. 

 

The emblem of the Phoenix has been used frequently in  literature and movies.  Ex: " Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."  Drug rehab facilities are named Phoenix, because even Lindsey Lohan may grab the reins of the marvelous Phoenix and rise to a pristine palace of potential.  Technologies and rockets are named for the bird of rebirth.  The rocket is in our soul, keep hope.

 

Universally throughout history, there is a cavernous human longing for the hope of rebirth.  The persistence of resurrection myths demonstrate the persistence of the human need for a comeback.

 

The Making of Phoenix Flying Dance

 

I finished this digital image today.  I am excited to see how the print will turn out.  I would like to further develop the image into an oil painting. I can not promise you that this will be created, because I have a lot of images in the pipeline.  Paintings are circling in my head like helicopters over Louis Armstrong airport after Katrina.  (Yea, I know, I used this metaphor already, but I like it enough for repetition.)

 

For reference, I harvested the ballet dancer image from the web.  In the tossing of the dancer image from web site to search engine, and all around the world, for forty times or more, the name of the exquisite dancer and the name of the master photographer, who captured her flying leap, frozen gracefully for all time in midair, have been, regretfully, lost.  Thus, it is called an orphan image.

 

 I changed the low rez web picture digitally. It has been totally painted in Photoshop.  Colors, lines, shapes, all have been interpreted.  If anyone can supply me with the names of the artists who created the image, I will be grateful to know and publish the contributors names. If the artists object to the mess that I have made of their beautiful creation, then I will destroy the pictures. 

 

Nothing is created in a vacuum.  Artists do not just pull a full blown creation out of the isolated personal cerebrosphere.  Inspiration comes from imagination, from experience, from nature, and especially from the creations of other artists.  Each artist interprets, creates, art from the soup of all that is.  There is a current of development flowing through all work. Artist have been borrowing from each other since the second fertility goddess was carved with stone from stone. And, there is persistent cross fertilization between the various artistic disciplines.  How blessed we are, to be able to stand on the shoulders of giants. 

 

Before digital painting, before web images, I scoured galleries, art museums, and books, with hungry eyes.  I now delight in the banquet of beauty and inspiration that I find so easily on my computer.  (But will never replace the nirvana of seeing an actual paint and canvas masterpiece.)  Artistic options, like the options of most other endeavors, have been expanded by the flickering pixils museum in a box.  Just as the new technology of photography fired the imagination of the impressionists, giving them the theory of broken light/broken color, in the latter decades of the 1800's, current technologies fire the creative edge of art today. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, Quality programming for dogs.

 

 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL

Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend

 

 

 

Introducing the most innovative video programming to explode the aerowaves since forever.  The Best Friend Channel will upgrade your world to fantabulous!

 

We understand.  It is heartbreaking to leave your beloved doggie alone when you must go shopping.  You worry and worry, that he will be sad and lonely. 

 

STOP WORRYING!

 

Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend!  Your beloved pet will find instant friends!  Soon you will notice that Prince is happier, more perky.  No more mopping around.  A more cheerful dog is not the only benefit for you and your BFF.  The BEST FRIEND CHANNAL will not only entertain Pierre, it will also stimulate exercise and educate your dog. 

 

You heard right folks.  This paradigm busting programming will amaze you with cunning canine benefits.  Dogs are people too.  For too long their needs have been ignored by the aerowave world.  Finally, programming primarily for dogs, that she can watch alone or with you, her ever faithful human, by her side. 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, INNOVATIVE PROGRAMMING FOR DOGGIES

• YODA FOR DOGGIES  

•  Starring Angelina and Brad Pittbull  who will guide Lassie in certified YODA exercises.  Gentle stretch and balance moves will teach your pet poise and improve his health.     

• The program closes with five minutes of YODA MEDITATION.  Meditation is important for stress relief.  Stress relief is especially important for the ADD K9.

 

• Joggie-O-Lean 

• The Joggie-O-Lean  award winning program and the Joggie-O-Lean,  aerobic canine trampoline will get your dog off of the couch and jumping up and down.  

• Starring Queen Victoria and King Henry, highly acclaimed, certified, sanitized and verified Joggie-O-Lean instructors. Victoria and Henry, the reigning royals of Bonerama will bring your BFF up to peak, well buffed condition. 

• Joggie-O-Lean  is a breakthrough dog trampoline product designed to maintain Blue's health.  The Joggie-O-Lean trampoline, and exercise stratostars Queen Victoria and King Henry BFC Joggie-O-Lean instructors will motivate doggie to bounce, jiggle and wiggle her way to strong lean muscles.   

 

• Job Training for Fido

• The incomparable, the fabulous, stratospheric star, PRINCESS FOU FOU headlines this program that is guaranteed to make your fabulous life even more fantastically fabulous.

•  Dogs are people too.  They need to feel useful, to contribute to the common good.  PRINCESS FOU FOU will teach your BFF to retrieve your phone and remote!  Amazing! 

• You search and you search for your phone and remote.  You feel frustrated. Your last nerve is to the breaking point. All you really want to do is flop on the couch after a grueling day of shopping, but you cant find your most important toys.  After PRINCESS FOU FOU instructs poochie your frustration will be over.  Imagine your beloved BFF proudly bringing your most important toy tools to you while you languish lavishly on the loveseat. 

 

 

• Good News for Investors

• The bad news is that the BEST FRIEND CHANNEL is just a delusional dream, and a collection of cool advertisements, at this point in time.  The good news is that YOU can be a founding investor.  YOU can multiply your money a million times over.  Think about it.  A completely new concept in aerowave programming.  Get in on the ground floor, YOU can make it happen.  For only $10,000 for a Basic Investor fee or $1,000,000 for a Platinum Investor level you can participate in the most exciting canine advance since the cave ages.  And, there's more!!! You will be helping dogs to be healthy in body, mind and spirit.  You will help human partners to be worry free, when they are away.  Don't delay, the Investor ops are limited, and they are going fast.  Act today. Just send a check to my address.