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Thursday, May 16, 2013

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, Quality programming for dogs.











 
 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL

Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend
 
 
 
Introducing the most innovative video programming to explode the aerowaves since forever.  The Best Friend Channel will upgrade your world to fantabulous!
 
We understand.  It is heartbreaking to leave your beloved doggie alone when you must go shopping.  You worry and worry, that he will be sad and lonely. 
 

STOP WORRYING!

 
Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend!  Your beloved pet will find instant friends!  Soon you will notice that Prince is happier, more perky.  No more mopping around.  A more cheerful dog is not the only benefit for you and your BFF.  The BEST FRIEND CHANNAL will not only entertain Pierre, it will also stimulate exercise and educate your dog. 
 
You heard right folks.  This paradigm busting programming will amaze you with cunning canine benefits.  Dogs are people too.  For too long their needs have been ignored by the aerowave world.  Finally, programming primarily for dogs, that she can watch alone or with you, her ever faithful human, by her side. 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, INNOVATIVE PROGRAMMING FOR DOGGIES

  • YODA FOR DOGGIES  

  •  Starring Angelina and Brad Pittbull  who will guide Lassie in certified YODA exercises.  Gentle stretch and balance moves will teach your pet poise and improve his health.     

  • The program closes with five minutes of YODA MEDITATION.  Meditation is important for stress relief.  Stress relief is especially important for the ADD K9.

 
  • Joggie-O-Lean 

  • The Joggie-O-Lean  award winning program and the Joggie-O-Lean,  aerobic canine trampoline will get your dog off of the couch and jumping up and down.  
  • Starring Queen Victoria and King Henry, highly acclaimed, certified, sanitized and verified Joggie-O-Lean instructors. Victoria and Henry, the reigning royals of Bonerama will bring your BFF up to peak, well buffed condition. 
  • Joggie-O-Lean  is a breakthrough dog trampoline product designed to maintain Blue's health.  The Joggie-O-Lean trampoline, and exercise stratostars Queen Victoria and King Henry BFC Joggie-O-Lean instructors will motivate doggie to bounce, jiggle and wiggle her way to strong lean muscles.   
 
  • Job Training for Fido

  • The incomparable, the fabulous, stratospheric star, PRINCESS FOU FOU headlines this program that is guaranteed to make your fabulous life even more fantastically fabulous.
  •  Dogs are people too.  They need to feel useful, to contribute to the common good.  PRINCESS FOU FOU will teach your BFF to retrieve your phone and remote!  Amazing! 
  • You search and you search for your phone and remote.  You feel frustrated. Your last nerve is to the breaking point. All you really want to do is flop on the couch after a grueling day of shopping, but you cant find your most important toys.  After PRINCESS FOU FOU instructs poochie your frustration will be over.  Imagine your beloved BFF proudly bringing your most important toy tools to you while you languish lavishly on the loveseat. 

 
 
  • Good News for Investors

  • The bad news is that the BEST FRIEND CHANNEL is just a delusional dream, and a collection of cool advertisements, at this point in time.  The good news is that YOU can be a founding investor.  YOU can multiply your money a million times over.  Think about it.  A completely new concept in aerowave programming.  Get in on the ground floor, YOU can make it happen.  For only $10,000 for a Basic Investor fee or $1,000,000 for a Platinum Investor level you can participate in the most exciting canine advance since the cave ages.  And, there's more!!! You will be helping dogs to be healthy in body, mind and spirit.  You will help human partners to be worry free, when they are away.  Don't delay, the Investor ops are limited, and they are going fast.  Act today. Just send a check to my address.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Interstellar Chicks

Interstellar Chicks

New picture
 
 
I just remembered another principle that I Believe In.  That makes three principles.
 
 
Dear Janet,  
 
Now listen, you must stay away from belief statements and politics.  And do not write about family.  No, it is OK to write about family.  Just say that we are all loving and harmonious. And successful. Which is at least partly true.  Listen, Janet, this is a blog,  millions of people have access to reading this.  So don't be stupid, stay away from religion, politics and true confessions.  Think about it,  it is not like you are an expert on these subjects. Just write about the painting process and your garden.  You have plenty of material.  Oh, and no sex.
 
 
Yours truly,
The Voice of Reason
 
 
I just remembered another principle that I Believe In.  That makes three principles.  The first two are compassion and gratitude.   
 
I believe in praying or meditating.  I pray to the Goddess,  because the concept of a female deity is much more acceptable to me than a God.  He is a god of revenge.  Punishment. (John Wayne playing Moses).  She is the ideal mother.  Unconditional love. Every person's beliefs are just intellectual concepts.  Picked up, for better or worse, when we are children.  Or, preached by charismatic thumpers who may or may not have our best interest at heart.  Or, maybe arrived at through convoluted thinking.
 
I refer to Wikipedia again:
 
Religion is an organized collection of belief systems, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values.[note 1] Many religions have narratives, symbols, traditions and sacred histories that are intended to give meaning to life or to explain the origin of life or the Universe. From their ideas about the cosmos and human nature, they tend to derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestyle. According to some estimates, there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world.[1]
Many religions may have organized behaviors, clergy, a definition of what constitutes adherence or membership, holy places, and scriptures. The practice of a religion may also include rituals, sermons, commemoration or veneration of a deity, gods or goddesses, sacrifices, festivals, feasts, trance, initiations, funerary services, matrimonial services, meditation, prayer, music, art, dance, public service or other aspects of human culture. Religions may also contain mythology.[2



So, if there are 4,200 religions in the world, and only one is right??; then, what are the odds that I will pick the right one?  That I would even hear about the right one?

Formal religions are supported by a collection of words related to concepts.  At best they are a weak representation of the unknowable. The words are about the experience of spirit, which is beyond human intellectual comprehension. We can not verbally express  the mysterious vastness of being.  Given grace, we may experience spirit.  If we want to write words about the experience, then, much will be lost in translation. 

I asked myself.  What beliefs will make me feel better?  Contribute to my life in a sustaining manner?  What do I personally believe is good?  Have you ever asked yourself truly, "What do I believe?"  It is a long and winding road to sort out the values of your heart from what you have been told to believe.

I will share with you the prayer that I made up.  I thought of my favorite words.  I had been saying a Buddhist mantra, in Sanskrit words. I thought that words with meaning for me would work better.  I think this prayer repetitiously whenever I can remember to do so.  When a stupid song, that I do not want to hear, is playing on my brain radio, then I replace it with this prayer.  It calms me down from stress. Psychoneuro research has shown that the recitation of a mantra has physiological effects.  The calmness that the meditator feels is a mirror of chemical and electrical changes in the body.  I use this mantra whenever I am worried about safety.    Sometimes I find it running thru my inner radio automatically, replacing the monkey chatter channel that I usually hear. A simple mantra has many uses.  

 

Prayer Mantra of Favorite Words


I love the Goddess of
light, peace and harmony.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Thursday, May 2, 2013

Stop in the Name of Love












Stop!  In the Name of Love

 

Stop! In the name of Love.
 
Before you break my heart,
 
before I break your heart,
 
before you break your heart,

before I break my heart.
 
Think it o-o-over.
 
 
 
The words here are a shameless paraphrase of a 1965 song, sung by Diana Ross and the Supremes, "Stop! In the name of love". Written and produced by Holland-Dozier-Holland.  Motown.  Oh Yea! Over the top fashion. Motown sound, take me away to jiggle dance town.




Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Guano Crazy

Skull Clown

Digital 2550X3330 pixils
 
 
 
 
 
GUANO CRAZY
 
 
 
You may or may not have noticed that I have that, rather epidemic, disease called Irony Disorder.  I do hope that you picked up on the irony, because other wise you might think that I am Guano Crazy.  I am rather off beat in the head, (a touch of ADD, Attention to a Different Drummer),  you know, just the normal confusion of living in an upside down culture.  Slightly demented but not Guano Crazy. You believe me, don't you?
 
There is normal crazy and Guano Crazy.  Guano is bat shit, it collects in the bottom of bat caves and makes excellent plant fertilizer.  I try to avoid the bat shit crazy people, because, crazy is contagious.  Having a few crazy as feces, work mates, neighbors, family members, and living in a social milieu of folks just hanging on by their fingernails,  means that I do have contact with rather high levels of psychosis.  When the stress level gets toxic, I get in my car, drive around and scream. I stay on roads that I know well, without too much traffic.  That is pretty effective, it lets off steam and in the car I will not disturb the neighbors.  I reserve the screaming for when I need to exhale some very unbalancing vibrations.  For just plain, I cant take it anymore crazy, I work in my garden.

Well, at some point I realized that I had to put up with some guano or I would be really lonely.  What is the point of being sane if you cant share it with anyone?  You believe me, don't you?  Mostly I am happy.  Positive thinking with a healthy sprinkle of denial helps.

The one thing that I really do believe in, the one principle that clarifies my mind, is the  practice of compassion.  I think too much and cant really pin down any other ideal.  Compassion says it all for me.  Simple but not easy.  If I find myself being judgmental, I think about all my stupid mistakes.  I have a more than few memories that put me right in my place.  That place not being very high on the well adjusted list. 

It is spring here in the Louisiana boonies, so far in the sticks that we pipe out sunshine.  I over ordered from the plant catalogue.  So, I must get dirty almost every day, to get seeds and baby plants  in the ground before it gets too warm. My garden is where I feel most peaceful. 

Oh, wait, I remembered another principle that I Believe In.  That makes two principles.  I try to practice gratitude.  I do have so many things and people who make me thankful.