Lets Gossip Barbie, 1

 

Barbie, TV Head 



Let's Gossip Barbie, 1

  

"Lets gossip about Barbie, now that she has gone shopping.  We are sitting on the Starbucks patio on Holyhell Boulevard.  It is a beautiful morning, I mean afternoon, exhaust fumes from the constipated Boulevard traffic are wafting in the breeze. Across the table from me sits THE Paris Harlot.  The most famous for being famous person in the entire celebrity sphere.

We sip Celestial Green Tea laced with tequila, and nibble on no calorie, no fat, no gluten, no additives, preservatives or artificial color croissants.
 

"Do you know, Pussy Paris, that Barbie has been shopping everyday for the past fifty six years.  Her closet is the size of a warehouse.  Have you seen it?  It is a giant pink sequin building that dwarfs her purple rhinestone ranch house.  She has three miles of automated revolving clothing racks snaking through the building.  She has a shoe room of towering glass display cases housing a hundred thousand plastic fetishes.

 

What do you think about that, Princess Hilton?  You admire her!  But she has a closet large enough to house a Afghani refugee camp comfortably. No, don't tell me, you want an even bigger closet?  One as big as the Superdome?  Well, we all have a right to our own opinions even when they indicate hydrocephalic greed that will eat us alive.  Did you hear me?  What are you tweeting?  I just don't go for that conceited conspicuous consumption crap.  Well, I think that conspicuous consumption is soooo tacky, but sometimes I slip myself up.  We are only human. 

 

And tell me, Partie Hartie, what is with Barbie's feet?  Those useless appendages as deformed as the lotus flower feet of abused Chinese girls?  Malformed feet for masochistic shoes.  What is that about, Paris Piranha?  Can you explain it to me?

 

Oh, now I get it, teeter totter tumble toes makes Mr. Happy stand up and cheer.  How strange!  You mean to tell me that men are turned on by women who are as unstable as toddlers? How weird!

 Human organisms never cease to boggle the brain.  Here we are, beings of complicated and elegant neurochemical processes,  millions of muscle, blood, and nerve cells working together in harmony, sending zillions of data bits to the brain, for what?  An amazing chorus of chemical interactions, electrical ion exchanges and etherical energies coordinating muscles and intentions, all for what?  All this intricate pituitary, thyroid, adrenal, not to mention gonadal hormones in a hemodynamic dance of science and mystery, all culminating in what?  Zillions of data bits flooding the brain in a constant stream, interfacing with the mind.  The mind, the irrational, unpredictable, self seeking mind.  We have a brain! The most elegant computer in the world! A brain/mind.  The mind that thinks it is the CEO of the metaorganism but screws things up right and left.  Producing behavior that has no rational or pragmatic basis. Minds that have created masterpieces,  the Mona Lisa, the Sidney Opera House, and Drago's grilled oysters, but minds will also make a man salivate over a woman toddling clumsily in dangerous and painful footwear?  We think that we are rational, sensible beings, but, our hardwiring commits us to stupidity.  Emotions almost always trump intelligence. It boggles the brain.  But, who knows, maybe it is better this way.  You know, I am confused. Oh, and inappropriate, did I mention inappropriate?  And so the earth spins round.

Are you listening Princess Harlot?  Oh, you are tweeting your worshipful fans?  What is trending?  So Mr. Happy salutes masochistic stilettos.  The neurons are flabbergasted on so many levels. By the way, where did you get those marvelous Louboutin Sky Heels?  Do they come in turquoise?  I must have a pair. 

Sorry, Prissy, I know my rant is boring.  Thank goodness you brought your IPod.  Seen any good tweets lately?  What is trending?

Did you catch the Nine Inch Dolls Reality Show last night?  No? You saw it last week, right.  Lucy and Desi were celebrating their seventy seventh wedding anniversary.  All the glitterati nine inch dolls were there, and the Stones were playing.  Yes, you saw it, yes, it was sooo exciting.  But last night you passed out too early and missed it?  Not to worry, I will tell you all about it.  You will not believe what Barbie is up to now. 

To be continued. A jabberwacky short story in four parts. To get to the next part of the story, click "Newer Post", at the bottom of this entry.
 

 

   

Wikipedia, Interesting Info Bits

This is what Wikipedia says about Japanese bound feet:

 

The practice possibly originated among upper class court dancers in the early T'ang dynasty in Imperial China (11th or 10th century), but spread and eventually became common among all but the lowest of classes. Eventually foot binding became very popular because men thought it to be highly attractive. Foot binding became Chinese women's way of being beautiful, and a way to show that they were worthy of a husband. The foot binding process begins with a young girl (4-7 years old)  Next, every toe would be broken except for the big toe.
 

Another interesting titbit, Shakespeare quote 

Last night I was watching "Hamlet"  and noticed that  this soliloquy was similar to my confused rant.
Of course, he said it not only first, but also, better.

What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties!
In form and moving, how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world!
The paragon of animals!
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet


Bye now, be safe, be happy and avoid the clap.

Best Friend Channel Update

Best Friend Channel

Be a best friend to your best friend, turn on the Best Friend Channel

 

 

To the Investors and Supporters of the Best Friend Channel

 Someone has stolen my idea!  I saw an ad on TV for another doggie channel.  I thought of this first!  Do you think that we can sue the idea thieves?  Well, nevermind, why bother?  because the programming for the Best Friend Channel will shit bomb the programming of our competition.  We have award winning beauty and fashion specials, exercise, meditation and educational programming all this just for fido.  Top that you dirty dogs. 

 

 

Be an Angel, Invest Today!

 

There are still a few spots open for investors on all levels. 

 

 

Silver Angel Investor positions cost $10,000. Silver Angels will receive a framed and signed portrait of the Stratosphere Star, Princess Fou Fou.

 

Gold Angel Investor positions are $100,000.  Gold Angels are entitled to a dinner date with Princess Fou Fou at The Commander's Palace ten star restaurant in New Orleans.

 

Platinum Angel Investor Positions are for those exalted angels who invest One cool million dollars. Platinum Angels will be entitled to receive Princess Fou Fou's first born puppy. 

 

 

Be an Angel today!!! Investor Positions are going fast.  Get yours now.  Just send a check to my address or call me for info on direct deposit.

 

 

 

 

Hollywood Kiss

HOLLYWOOD KISS

 

The composition is like a see-saw.  Stable/unstable.  A dynamic pyramid. Yin/yang.

 

The weather is lovely.  Beautiful here at Silver Creek.  Temperature perfect.  The privet trees are blooming like snow on the large, scraggly hedge.  Allergies and bugs abound.  Carpenter bees chew up the house and dive bomb humans.  Mosquitos prick skin with ting sensations.  Just the price of living in paradise.  Gotta go now.  The riding mower is fixed, will mow.  The jungle is advancing.  I will battle the jungle forces with the mower.  Don't battle the jungle, work in harmony??

 

 

Like,  I have a libertine past.  I am not sure that it was worth all the effort.  Oh, what am I saying, of course it was worth the effort.

Audrey Hepburn, Bugeyed

 

Audrey Hepburn, Bug-eyed, Bobble Headed Buffoon

 with Princess Fou Fou

 

Without doubt, the all time, most elegant woman who ever lived is Audrey Hepburn. Because of her position on top of the admiration pyramid, I could not resist messing with her face.  Because of her sacred position in the Follywood pantheon, I could not resist making fun with her legendary image.

 

 The work started with a portrait of Audrey, which I had created, maybe a year ago? A beautiful, digital gamin face.  I thought,"What else can I do with this?"  I put it in the liquefy function of Photoshop and enlarged the eyes. BUG-eyed.  Delighted, I thought, "Wow! This is a fresh salad." 

 

"What next?" I snickered?  Browsing my picture documents, a fun thought tickled my brain.  Enough, already.  Audrey has been gracefully bedecked in couture for long enough.  Now, let her be a buffoon.  While giggling, I sewed her head to a clown body.  "Bobble headed!" I exclaimed, and made it happen, I blew up her head.

 

 

 I went with the circus clown theme, using element files from my documents.  This is one of the coolest things about Photoshop, I have painted a collection of characters, elements, environments, backgrounds, and special effects, all stored in my documents, all waiting in the sidelines until they can star in another picture.     

 

The outrageously clashing Princess Fou Fou, is patterned after, who else, the real Princess Fou Fou, who keeps me quiet, sweet company at this moment, laying on the deer skin rug that Mr. T made.  Her Majisty barks at thunder.  Awfully raucous, what with all the thunderstorms that pass through.  This adorable ball of fuzz will chase a storm.  She charges lightening with her most ferocious threats.  I say,  "Fou Fou, that is God that you are challenging.  Are you crazy?"  She doesn't listen to me. Also, I told her to go to the spa and get the tangles worked out of her hair, but, she still didn't listen. 

 

The floor of the circus is adapted from another world famous icon,  the rose window of Notre Dame in Paris.  I hope that Fou Fou does not poop on this sacred mandala. 

 

This is how I amuse myself.  It came together, and made me smile, this lightly sacrilegious tossed salad. 

 

Kitten Cherub and Rosie are performing their flying act.  Amusing.  Light and fluffy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phoenix Dance

Phoenix Dance

 

 

Phoenix Dance

 The Persistence of Symbols of Rebirth 

 

 

 Phoenix is the comeback kid of mythology.  Phoenix is the rebirth and resurrection bird of persistent worship.  She lives a thousand years, for a thousand years she soars and sails, she surfs, on streams of cool clear air.  After an eon of living, her clock runs down, and then she fulfills her destiny to crash and burn.  From the purification of fire, from the ashes of her own autocremation the Phoenix is reborn to soar another thousand years. 

 

Lets face it y'all, life is hard.  Sometimes it seems that all is lost. Failure and exhaustion, are universally a part of human existence. It is a wheel, a roller coaster, an enlightening adventure. Success and joy, failure and defeat.

 

The wheel of Fortuna turns round and round.  We go up and we go down. We all know, there will be change, sunshine; before a driving rain. Light and dark, day and night, Our spirit, engaged will take a flight.

 

When we crash and burn,  we NEED to see the phoenix at the end of the tunnel. Hope keeps us going.  Hope is the sperm of rebirth.  DNA is in the egg and the egg is in the DNA. 

 

At the bottom swing on the wheel of Fortuna cycle, we may be crushed or we may tap into rebirth.  Mind, body and spirit are resurrected with the will to soar.  The ashes of defeat contain the diamonds of a comeback. 

 

 Phoenix analogies, regeneration myths are found in all cultures, world wide.  Universally cosmologies offer a resurrection from the ashes of failure story.  Russians, Native Americans, Turks, Pacific Islanders, Tibetans and Japanese offer regeneration mythologies.  The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus also mines the human need for reinvention. 

 

The emblem of the Phoenix has been used frequently in  literature and movies.  Ex: " Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."  Drug rehab facilities are named Phoenix, because even Lindsey Lohan may grab the reins of the marvelous Phoenix and rise to a pristine palace of potential.  Technologies and rockets are named for the bird of rebirth.  The rocket is in our soul, keep hope.

 

Universally throughout history, there is a cavernous human longing for the hope of rebirth.  The persistence of resurrection myths demonstrate the persistence of the human need for a comeback.

 

The Making of Phoenix Flying Dance

 

I finished this digital image today.  I am excited to see how the print will turn out.  I would like to further develop the image into an oil painting. I can not promise you that this will be created, because I have a lot of images in the pipeline.  Paintings are circling in my head like helicopters over Louis Armstrong airport after Katrina.  (Yea, I know, I used this metaphor already, but I like it enough for repetition.)

 

For reference, I harvested the ballet dancer image from the web.  In the tossing of the dancer image from web site to search engine, and all around the world, for forty times or more, the name of the exquisite dancer and the name of the master photographer, who captured her flying leap, frozen gracefully for all time in midair, have been, regretfully, lost.  Thus, it is called an orphan image.

 

 I changed the low rez web picture digitally. It has been totally painted in Photoshop.  Colors, lines, shapes, all have been interpreted.  If anyone can supply me with the names of the artists who created the image, I will be grateful to know and publish the contributors names. If the artists object to the mess that I have made of their beautiful creation, then I will destroy the pictures. 

 

Nothing is created in a vacuum.  Artists do not just pull a full blown creation out of the isolated personal cerebrosphere.  Inspiration comes from imagination, from experience, from nature, and especially from the creations of other artists.  Each artist interprets, creates, art from the soup of all that is.  There is a current of development flowing through all work. Artist have been borrowing from each other since the second fertility goddess was carved with stone from stone. And, there is persistent cross fertilization between the various artistic disciplines.  How blessed we are, to be able to stand on the shoulders of giants. 

 

Before digital painting, before web images, I scoured galleries, art museums, and books, with hungry eyes.  I now delight in the banquet of beauty and inspiration that I find so easily on my computer.  (But will never replace the nirvana of seeing an actual paint and canvas masterpiece.)  Artistic options, like the options of most other endeavors, have been expanded by the flickering pixils museum in a box.  Just as the new technology of photography fired the imagination of the impressionists, giving them the theory of broken light/broken color, in the latter decades of the 1800's, current technologies fire the creative edge of art today. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, Quality programming for dogs.

 

 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL

Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend

 

 

 

Introducing the most innovative video programming to explode the aerowaves since forever.  The Best Friend Channel will upgrade your world to fantabulous!

 

We understand.  It is heartbreaking to leave your beloved doggie alone when you must go shopping.  You worry and worry, that he will be sad and lonely. 

 

STOP WORRYING!

 

Turn on the Best Friend Channel for your best friend!  Your beloved pet will find instant friends!  Soon you will notice that Prince is happier, more perky.  No more mopping around.  A more cheerful dog is not the only benefit for you and your BFF.  The BEST FRIEND CHANNAL will not only entertain Pierre, it will also stimulate exercise and educate your dog. 

 

You heard right folks.  This paradigm busting programming will amaze you with cunning canine benefits.  Dogs are people too.  For too long their needs have been ignored by the aerowave world.  Finally, programming primarily for dogs, that she can watch alone or with you, her ever faithful human, by her side. 

BEST FRIEND CHANNEL, INNOVATIVE PROGRAMMING FOR DOGGIES

• YODA FOR DOGGIES  

•  Starring Angelina and Brad Pittbull  who will guide Lassie in certified YODA exercises.  Gentle stretch and balance moves will teach your pet poise and improve his health.     

• The program closes with five minutes of YODA MEDITATION.  Meditation is important for stress relief.  Stress relief is especially important for the ADD K9.

 

• Joggie-O-Lean 

• The Joggie-O-Lean  award winning program and the Joggie-O-Lean,  aerobic canine trampoline will get your dog off of the couch and jumping up and down.  

• Starring Queen Victoria and King Henry, highly acclaimed, certified, sanitized and verified Joggie-O-Lean instructors. Victoria and Henry, the reigning royals of Bonerama will bring your BFF up to peak, well buffed condition. 

• Joggie-O-Lean  is a breakthrough dog trampoline product designed to maintain Blue's health.  The Joggie-O-Lean trampoline, and exercise stratostars Queen Victoria and King Henry BFC Joggie-O-Lean instructors will motivate doggie to bounce, jiggle and wiggle her way to strong lean muscles.   

 

• Job Training for Fido

• The incomparable, the fabulous, stratospheric star, PRINCESS FOU FOU headlines this program that is guaranteed to make your fabulous life even more fantastically fabulous.

•  Dogs are people too.  They need to feel useful, to contribute to the common good.  PRINCESS FOU FOU will teach your BFF to retrieve your phone and remote!  Amazing! 

• You search and you search for your phone and remote.  You feel frustrated. Your last nerve is to the breaking point. All you really want to do is flop on the couch after a grueling day of shopping, but you cant find your most important toys.  After PRINCESS FOU FOU instructs poochie your frustration will be over.  Imagine your beloved BFF proudly bringing your most important toy tools to you while you languish lavishly on the loveseat. 

 

 

• Good News for Investors

• The bad news is that the BEST FRIEND CHANNEL is just a delusional dream, and a collection of cool advertisements, at this point in time.  The good news is that YOU can be a founding investor.  YOU can multiply your money a million times over.  Think about it.  A completely new concept in aerowave programming.  Get in on the ground floor, YOU can make it happen.  For only $10,000 for a Basic Investor fee or $1,000,000 for a Platinum Investor level you can participate in the most exciting canine advance since the cave ages.  And, there's more!!! You will be helping dogs to be healthy in body, mind and spirit.  You will help human partners to be worry free, when they are away.  Don't delay, the Investor ops are limited, and they are going fast.  Act today. Just send a check to my address.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Interstellar Chicks

Interstellar Chicks

New picture

 

 

I just remembered another principle that I Believe In.  That makes three principles.

 

 

Dear Janet,  

 

Now listen, you must stay away from belief statements and politics.  And do not write about family.  No, it is OK to write about family.  Just say that we are all loving and harmonious. And successful. Which is at least partly true.  Listen, Janet, this is a blog,  millions of people have access to reading this.  So don't be stupid, stay away from religion, politics and true confessions.  Think about it,  it is not like you are an expert on these subjects. Just write about the painting process and your garden.  You have plenty of material.  Oh, and no sex.

 

 

Yours truly,

The Voice of Reason

 

 

I just remembered another principle that I Believe In.  That makes three principles.  The first two are compassion and gratitude.   

 

I believe in praying or meditating.  I pray to the Goddess,  because the concept of a female deity is much more acceptable to me than a God.  He is a god of revenge.  Punishment. (John Wayne playing Moses).  She is the ideal mother.  Unconditional love. Every person's beliefs are just intellectual concepts.  Picked up, for better or worse, when we are children.  Or, preached by charismatic thumpers who may or may not have our best interest at heart.  Or, maybe arrived at through convoluted thinking.

 

I refer to Wikipedia again:

 

Religion is an organized collection of belief systems, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values.^{[note 1]} Many religions have narratives, symbols, traditions and sacred histories that are intended to give meaning to life or to explain the origin of life or the Universe. From their ideas about the cosmos and human nature, they tend to derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestyle. According to some estimates, there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world.^[1]
Many religions may have organized behaviors, clergy, a definition of what constitutes adherence or membership, holy places, and scriptures. The practice of a religion may also include rituals, sermons, commemoration or veneration of a deity, gods or goddesses, sacrifices, festivals, feasts, trance, initiations, funerary services, matrimonial services, meditation, prayer, music, art, dance, public service or other aspects of human culture. Religions may also contain mythology.^[2



So, if there are 4,200 religions in the world, and only one is right??; then, what are the odds that I will pick the right one?  That I would even hear about the right one?

Formal religions are supported by a collection of words related to concepts.  At best they are a weak representation of the unknowable. The words are about the experience of spirit, which is beyond human intellectual comprehension. We can not verbally express  the mysterious vastness of being.  Given grace, we may experience spirit.  If we want to write words about the experience, then, much will be lost in translation. 

I asked myself.  What beliefs will make me feel better?  Contribute to my life in a sustaining manner?  What do I personally believe is good?  Have you ever asked yourself truly, "What do I believe?"  It is a long and winding road to sort out the values of your heart from what you have been told to believe.

I will share with you the prayer that I made up.  I thought of my favorite words.  I had been saying a Buddhist mantra, in Sanskrit words. I thought that words with meaning for me would work better.  I think this prayer repetitiously whenever I can remember to do so.  When a stupid song, that I do not want to hear, is playing on my brain radio, then I replace it with this prayer.  It calms me down from stress. Psychoneuro research has shown that the recitation of a mantra has physiological effects.  The calmness that the meditator feels is a mirror of chemical and electrical changes in the body.  I use this mantra whenever I am worried about safety.    Sometimes I find it running thru my inner radio automatically, replacing the monkey chatter channel that I usually hear. A simple mantra has many uses.  

 

Prayer Mantra of Favorite Words

I love the Goddess of
light, peace and harmony.