Gory Jesus

After doing several Mary pictures my Muse said that I should do Mary's son Jesus. We had a little argument and the Muse won. Then she said that Jesus should be like the ones I saw in Mexico, that he should be bloody. I resisted the gory blood thoughts, for more than a week.

But, it kept coming back to me. My muse insisted. I said, thought, "I am committed to painting positive pictures. I want to paint Love, Light, Peace and Harmony". Muse kept putting this violent picture in my mind. I would see the image when I woke up in the morning.

"Muse", said I, "I want to feel happy when I paint, so therefore, I want to paint happy pictures. Like Matisse, he did Luxe, Calme and et Volumpte. All his picture are positive. Pictures of harmony make me feel light and spread light to the people who look at them. This world needs more light. Goddess knows, there is already enough blood and gore. Dont you watch TV? And, also, who wants a bleeding victim for a deity??? Look at Buddha, he is fat and happy. Isnt that better?"

My overbearing muse won. I photoshopped the crucifixion. Now putting this dramatic digital image on the net. Muse insisting that I use the same image to make another collage on canvas with acrylic paint and cut out digital image.

Cant get this going until I get a new Epson Stylus 1400 printer. (Glitches with my order. Must be prepared to confront glitches everyday and still maintain good attitude.) Another story.

Now irritating, controlling, bitch muse is showing me that collage should be bloodied up with bright red Golden tar gel dripped all over the canvas. I have never even used this gel before, so will have to experiment to learn how to use it. Is there no end to the bother?

What does it mean?? Maybe, it means nothing, its just art, no big deal. Art for arts sake. It does not have to be deep. Havnt I learned anything from Jeff Koons?

My inner radio keeps masticating over this issue. Maybe the Christians are right. Maybe human require a suffering martyr to find redemption. Is this what Muse is trying to show me?? Oh, go away!

Denial is my favorite coping mechanism. Just pull a curtain over things that I do not want to think about. If necessary, block the thoughts with a heavy locked door. I think that this works well. Why even go there?

Just think positive and spread love and light.

Do humans require a suffering victim martyr to achieve redemption?? Well, I can not totally deny that we are effing messed up creatures that inflict damage all over the place. Everything from cutting remarks to gruesome brutal wars. Maybe it does take a sacrificial God to elevate us.

Confused, as usual. Just wish my verbose inner radio and Muse bitch would shut the shuck up and let me watch a stupid sitcom in peace.